The Waltons Game - Milton Bradley - 1974

The Waltons Game! Hold back your excitement!! The game is as exciting as the TV show!!!

This game is from 1974 and kudos to Milton Bradley for making it look older than that (similar that the folks in the TV show - Grandpa was only 45 & John Boy was 12)

 The name of the game is to complete the scenes with 

good Christian values.

 You can use John Boy as a wild card, the only thing wild about John Boy was the mole on his face!

 Look at Ma praying before her meal or was she thinking up ways to get her grown kids out of the F**k'n house? 

Feeley Meeley - Milton Bradley - 1967

The board game that gives you a FUNNY FEELING!

The box says 4 to 14 - WTF? Is this a swingers starter kit? 

It's the party game were everyone gropes around for crazy things in a box. 

Sounds like just a regular Saturday night. 

 Looking closer, you can see the poor girl on the box looks like she's in pain (another reason that this should have been made for adults only)

If I had a you-know-what, I would try sticking it in the box. 

Why not? We are all adults!! 

 Notice that the photo is missing of us all with our extremities in the box?

 Look! Someone found a big pussy.........................

cat. 

 Purrrrrrrrrrrrrr

WWF Wrestling Super Stars Game - Milton Bradley 1985

It's teabag time!

If you look at the above picture quickly, it looks like the guys in the front just came out of a bathhouse; all greased up and scantly clad. (It does feed into the homoerotic nature of wrestling) 

Hillybilly Jim was one of my favourites even though he wore the most clothes. Speaking of clothes, why didn't Nikolai Volkoff wear more? It really looks like he's having a bad dream and forgot his pants...

 Please keep in mind that these figures are NOT to scale! Andre probably wouldn't fit in my living room. In fact I KNOW he wouldn't because he's dead......aw..... TOO SOON!!

This is the game in action, we have Hillbilly Jim battling The Junkyard dog. You can't see it but Hulk Hogan also in the ring! I can't decide what is louder, the crowd, the board game or my table cloth. 

Click here to see the original commercial. 

New Kids on The Block Game - Milton Bradley 1990

Step by Step oh Baby...yes I had to look that up. If you didn't, this game is for you!

This game was well loved when I bought it. The cards were all sticky and there were cutouts from a New Kids on the Block action figure. Frankly, I'm surprised that all of the parts were there! I suspect that  this belonged to a tween boy. 

Here are all of the folks that you need to collect. You have to look really closely when collecting cards. There are three guys that look the same......

Attention NKOTB fans: This post is not meant to disrespect any NKOTB fans. In fact if you still are a NKOTB fan, please let me know so that I can tighten my security settings. If you want to buy this game for 20 bucks, I will have a paid homeless stranger meet you in a crowed area for the exchange.

Girl Talk Date Line - Golden 1989

Afraid to call a boy for real? Need to tighten up your stalking skills? If so, Girl Talk Date Line is for you!


Wow! Look at the selection in the box. You better be 10 and Up! It comes with a mini speaker that hooks up to your portable cassette player. cassette? cassette player? It doesn't get any retro than this!

Look at all that action! This game teaches you how to multi task while being superficial. Roll the die move the marker, pick a random dude and a random gal, stick them in the tiny  pink speaker that looks like a mini toaster, put the cassette in, press play and listen in - just like a real stalker!!  

oooooooooooo Look at the selection: a hipster, a porn star & a Chippendales stripper. mmm good thing that this is for older girls. 

Portable stereo anyone?   


Here is the original commercial. 

Beverly Hills 90210 Entangle Game - Cardinal Games 1991

Get 'Entangled' with the hit T.V. Show "Beverly Hills 90210" is what it says on the box.

Nice box!

This game comes with a very complicated looking spinner that tells you what to step on. Right foot Brenda's face? Left hand Kelly's big hair?

The back of the box shows you how much fun it is to play this game. Perhaps they spent all of their money on the rights and couldn't pay a couple of teens to look like this is a good time? mmm let's take a closer look....

Ok players! It's time for you to press your tits against Brandan, right hand Andrea's boob and a Brenda look-a-like to sit on Kelly while 'catching her balance' on her chest! (oldest trick in the book)

This is the very large 'Twister' mat that takes it all home. It is complete with autographs, stage names along with Donna and David groping each other. What could be better than that?!?

90210 Theme Song

Blow Your Cool - Whitman 1969

Blow Your Cool? Perhaps this should have been called "Pass out" or "Collapsed Lung"

We found this wonderful game on our way to the beach. It comes with a vinyl mat along with balls you can blow over the Loser Line.
See how graceful it is to get on all fours in front of your friends and blow? This game is perfect for a first date!
This is the vinyl mat is large enough for you and three friends. Your parents won't have to worry about any shinanegans on the mat, just death.   
This game was supposed to come with four balls instead of three. Perhaps a previous player sucked instead of blew?
This is the poor loser that is featured on the box, the cards and right here on each corner of the mat. It is not only a reminder that you better win but it is certainly meant to add to your self esteem.

This is the starting position to place the balls before blowing. 

Note: Eating spicy food is NOT recommended before playing this game.  

The Six Million Dollar Man - Parker Brothers 1975

You either had a crush on Steve Autstin or you wanted to be him or...you weren't even born yet

My lovely friends found this at a yard sale and bought this for me. Imagine!! If I found this, I would keep it. Sorry guys, I have an addiction. This game came with all of its parts BUT the instructions (not unlike Mr. Six Million Dollar Man). I did find them on boardgamegeek.com.

Someone is impersonating Steve Austin in his Velour track suit! The first one to complete all four assignments using power cards and skill not only wins but proves that they are the REAL Six Million Dollar Man. I would think that having sound effects every time you move would prove that no?

If you happen to have Six Million Dollars (US or CDN) I will sell this to you and release my robo grip on this game.

The Backstreet Boys Around the World Game from 2000

I found this at an antique store. An antique store! It is from 2000 for F*@% sake.
The game was complete and we couldn't wait to play it. The joke was on us when we found out that this game is only for the hardcore Backstreet Boys fans. The tweens dancing on the back of the box should have given us our first clue. It is also worth noting that you have to be at a slumber party to play this game.
If you make me an offer that is over $20 bucks and prove that you are the biggest fan you can have this game.

Hint: To prove that you are the biggest fan: 1. You want to buy this game 2. You can answer this sample question from one of the cards "Whose middle name is Dwaine? a) Nick b) Howie c) AJ.

Lesson: Don't buy a novelty game of this ilk unless you are a hardcore fan otherwise the joke will be on you!